God created us to be connected. We all desire to belong. When we deny ourselves those connections, we lose a sense of who we are. Dealing with trauma tends to put us on edge and we are more apt to take offense at minor missteps like knocking on the wrong door.
Two years of living life in a pandemic thrust us in greater isolation than ever before. This has caused many changes in the patterns of our social participation. Subsequently, children in schools are dealing with higher levels of social anxiety and depression. They are relearning how to relate to kids their own age and their teachers. Our children have new deficits that they acquired during isolation. Our elders have also suffered from extended periods without the visits from neighbors and friends. Adults have suspended activities including attending weekly religious services. We have lost social connections that were a routine part of our lives before the pandemic. We have forgotten how to be civil. How do we reestablish our community connections?
For a little less than a year we have been working toward a new normal in our lives. People are returning to live sporting events, concerts, theatrical performances, and other communal activities. Yet have we tried to rebuild our social networks and communities of relationships? Studies suggest that participation in our faith communities increases our overall wellbeing and sense of belonging. According to the Pew Research Center, “regular participation in a religious community clearly is linked with higher levels of happiness and civic engagement,” (January 31, 2019).
God created us to be connected. We all desire to belong. Belonging to our families, to our workplaces, to our faith communities, and our friendship networks are a natural part of what it means to be human. When we deny ourselves those connections, we lose a sense of who we are. Our sense of self is diminished. Dealing with trauma tends to put us on edge and we are more apt to take offense at minor missteps like knocking on the wrong door. We are lacking a sense of safety in our communities in part because we have forgotten how to build relationships based on mutuality and trust. How do we increase trusting relationships in our lives?
Our two children receiving the blessings of their elders at their Hindu coming of age ceremonies.
Rituals can help kids integrate both traditions.
Raising kids in two religious traditions can be quite challenging. Honoring both parents, making the grandparents happy, trying to fit it all into an already busy schedule can seem daunting. With all the challenges, many families just give up on the tradition and give in to the desire to not do anything. But in the end, wrestling to redefine what these rituals mean to our kids will benefit everyone. When we learn how to balance these different aspects of our lives, it models navigating complex situations to our children. The hassle is totally worth it.
Make the time to walk with your kid on their faith journey.
Me: "Honey, why don't we renew our wedding vows..."
Him: "Why, have they expired?"
Keeping it fresh–still cultures collide.
Celebrating 25 years of marriage with my husband Sriram.
We celebrated 2 weddings in 2 religions on 2 continents over 2 months over 25 years ago. How do we keep our relationship fresh while respecting and celebrating our different cultures? It isn’t easy. Americans want to go out to dinner and have grand experiences. Indians want to go to temple and receive the blessings of our elders and wear traditional clothes. Americans want to celebrate with a champagne toast. Indians want to celebrate by sharing sweets with family and friends. Like every year of our lives together we negotiated our own blended way of celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary.
When we celebrate Deepavali every year, we focus on what we will give.
It starts with birthdays. In India the question is, “What will you give in honor of your birthday?” In America the question is, “What will you get for your birthday?” Getting versus giving, this is the fundamental shift in understanding between our competing cultures of Indian values verses American values. In our multicultural interfaith family, we deal with this tension between giving and getting, sharing and receiving, serving and being served. By celebrating both Deepavali and Christmas, star birthdays and date birthdays, attending temple and churches we have strived to teach our children the values of service and activism.
We are not in the same boat. We are not in the same storm. In fact, an economic storm has been raging all along and we have left many without a boat or paddle to weather the most recent epidemic to hit Rock County, Wisconsin. Continue reading “Faith & Fault-lines in a Pandemic”→
We have a rule in our house: always wash the dishes before we leave on vacation. This may seem ordinary enough, I’m sure many of you may do the same thing. But for me, the mere act of getting out the door on time is difficult enough—you can’t imagine how tempting it is to say, “leave it, just leave it. We will be back soon enough.” But the person who leaves the house is never the person who returns to it. We become a new person because of the journey and nobody wants to come back and clean up someone else’s mess.
Fifty years ago the world watched as one of the greatest victories of the Civil Rights movement unfolded on the stage of Selma, Alabama. March 1965 was the Super Bowl of the Civil Rights Movement. The stakes were high—the right for unencumbered voting for African American voters was on the line in this growing city. Almost no African Americans were able to register to vote given they had to undergo literacy tests, civil tests, poll taxes, as well as having others vouch for them. This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of that great victory that culminated in the march from Selma to the Statehouse in Montgomery and compelled President Johnson to issue and sign the Voter Rights Act.
Andrew “Cymbal Kid” Pawelczyk with our Son Nishanth
A Friend of the Family, Andrew the Cymbal Kid
One week ago my son’s best friend Andrew Pawelczyk (Pa-Vel-check) was thrust onto an international stage–he is the YouTube sensation “Cymbal Kid”. A month ago during the last middle school band performance, Andrew, an accomplished drummer who usually plays the “quad” 4 drums, was asked to play the cymbals. I was sitting dead center with my husband and daughter while our son sat in the trumpet section at first chair. Continue reading “Learning to think on your feet: Cymbal Kid, Autism, and the Family that Makes Us”→
This Redwood reminds us that we must learn from the Giants who have come before us.
Giants of Our Time
We are a people gathered together today, in this place, in this time, to reflect, to imagine, and to step forth into a new future where we are called to a greater purpose by a God under whose Divine eyes watch over us on this day.
This same Higher Power that has watched over, guided, inspired and led the Spiritual Giants of our faith Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, Rama, Buddha, and the great Gurus, on whose shoulders we stand today—this same Higher Power watches over us. That same Spirit that hovered over the waters at the dawn of creation lives and dwells in you, our graduates. Continue reading “In the Presence of Giants– Neuqua Valley High School Baccalaureate Speech”→
Lean in to smell the perfumed fragrance of this red rose.
The Garden is Ablaze with Color
These days my garden is blooming with color-reds, pinks, yellows, and especially purples. These warm days of June bring such bountiful beauty I can sit in my rose garden for hours contemplating the mystery of God’s creation around me. The tomatoes have not yet formed. The eggplants and peppers are hopeful flowers blossoming on young plants in delightfully cool mornings awaiting the buzz of bees to bear their fruit in fall. The basil is reaching upwards toward the sun, not yet ready for my Friday pizzas. It is here with the sun on my face, sitting at my garden table, with the breeze dancing among leaves of the cottonwood trees that I feel at peace, a sense of ONENESS with God and the world. This is sacred Sabbath time.Continue reading “My Blooming Garden (Part 2): The Fragrance of God”→
Every Day Life, Every Day Faith 